Life

My head pounds and pounds, my heart cries as the tears roll down my face. My breaths become bigger and deeper. My chest beginning to hurt the more i inhale and exhale. My cry becomes heavier and louder.

There’s no reasoning for all this, it’s just a stage they say. It’ll pass over they say.

How will it pass over when i’m in the depths of the deepest river trying to swim my way back up.

The more i swim the more tiring it gets, The more i swim, the farther down the stream i go. The more i swim, the more i feel like i’m falling and giving up.

But i know the less i swim the less i’m going somewhere. The less i swim the more i’m going to lose it. The less i swim the more i’m giving up.

We are to swim up a stream, wether it’s the hardest thing to do in life. Being in the depth of the deepest river isn’t the worst thing. It may feel like it but how about being in the strength of the strongest under toe?

We get caught up in this crazy world we bring ourselves down, as well as others bring us down. Wether they know it or not.

My life lately has been great and terrible at the same time.

I have such a wonderful boyfriend, i have many wonderful friends, i have a supporting family and church family. I’m so grateful for them, yet when i get home and crash and i begin to cry.

But why?

I have no reason to cry. I have a wonderful life.

Depression:

Depression means feelings of severe despondency and dejection

The last few weeks i’ve been in a bad depression. I’ve realized i hate people more than usual. I hate being away from home. I hate going to my school. Lately i’ve always been in a hating mood.

LISTEN TO ME:

depression is NOT something to get over in one day or without someone. TALK TO SOMEONE.

If your anything like me, i hate talking to people about my life. ya know? it’s my life??

Don’t act like that. I’m currently still in the depressed stages. Every night at 7:30 i cry. I have no reasoning to, i never wanna do anything anymore. I never wanna see my best friends. I never want to go out to eat. I barley want to go to church nowadays.

Life is never gonna go the way you want, even the people who are famous have these every day struggles. They have to fake getting through life to not let the press down.

We have to learn our way through life, even if that means getting out of our comfort zones and having to tell others about how terrible your life is at the moment cause honey. life will never be at its greatest until you are free from the worst.