i feel lost
i feel distant, i feel annoyed, sad, troubled, i feel like i’m trouble, i feel broken, not healed, i feel confused
as of now i have no idea why i feel this way but there are many people who do.
one day i’ll have a fantastic day, the next i’ll have a really boring day where i don’t want to get out but i don’t want to be around my family.
there’s only been two people i’ve wanted to surround my self with and those two people light up my world and one of them doesn’t even know that they do.
i’m thankful. i make sure i’m thankful for everything. i try not to take things fro granted. i have a great home life. it’s not broken or torn apart, thankfully.
i’m hopeful, hopeful my life won’t turn into a crumbled bag full of useless trash. hopeful for the best at all times.
i’m humble, at least i try to be.
i love everyone in my life, i have two amazing friends that i talk to daily and they make me smile like crazy
i love my family, and my church family but i feel like there’s something missing. i’m just not sure what just yet.
i’m faithful, i’m v religious i have a huge heart for ministries having to do with the homeless and tiny children.
i’m joyful at most times i wanna try and see the good in all the bad i experience
i want to say i’m peaceful but it is something i need to work on more.
patience is another thing i need to work on because my timing is always wrong it’s not my timing i live on it’s God’s timing.
i’m kind, i may seem harsh in some ways but that means i’m messing with you or i’m telling you things the way i’d want you to tell me.
i’m good. i have goodness in my life i have a good support system
i’m gentle in most situations, others i have to work on. just have to remember. not my world. not my timing.
and everyone needs to work on self control but i feel like i have okay self control.
i’m not saying any of this to put myself on a petal-stool, im saying this stuff because without one you don’t have another and without that one you seem to fall apart.
right now i seem to be doing okay but i don’t want to talk to anybody or anyone. i don’t want to be around anybody or anyone. i don’t even want to be around my family.
but am i okay according to how i want to live my life. or am i okay according to how the Bible tells me to live my life?
we have many ways to know what sin is, it’s something that’s against the word of God and it’s as simple as dozing off in class.
we have many ways to know what the ten commandments are. once again it’s simple to break those commandments.
we have many ways of seeing how to live according to the bible. once again it’s as simple as living YOUR own lifestyle.
we have all these rules to live by but we get greedy with our selfish wants and desires that we don’t see the bigger picture of what we need.
i think it all boils down to our feelings
we want to do this and we want to do that. that’s how we feel. that’s how we cope. this is how we do this and it feels wrong if we do it another way. etc etc etc.
we just want happiness. that’s a feeling. we want presence. that’s a feeling.
if we ever look at the big picture and say. hey. that looks fun. or that’s beautiful. or that’s happiness.
we can feel all these things so why not stick with it.
we feel happiness with things we can touch bc of our lack of faith. our lack of faith is terrible.
happiness with things on this world is never lasting. it’s not going to last. at all. you have to make it last.
With God. it’s everlasting. trust him with all that you have. stop worrying about your life. move on. and stop having guy feelings that make you wanna cry 24/7. don’t worry and let go He’s got his arms wrapped around you just as long as you are holding on to Him.
these are just the things i’m struggling with and i thought i’d share 🙂